You work out of a Hotel?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
