He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
