But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
