Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
