he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
