i barfeds in our rink
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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