where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
