We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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