I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
