How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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