I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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