Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
