if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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