And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
