did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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