Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize