Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
