do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
