They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
