So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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