champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
