So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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