He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
