How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
