Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
