Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
