Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
