i already hear my dad disowning me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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