is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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