you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
