What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
