I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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