I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
