Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.