Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU