Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
