Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
