I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
