He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
