well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
