Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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