Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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