But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
