its not stalking. its research.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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