Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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