You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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