I'm eating all of the evidence.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
