i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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