If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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