He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize