I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
