If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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