just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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