Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
