tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
