I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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