There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
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