so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
