im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
