My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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