Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
